some wisdom from my brother

In an attempt to modify my own behavior I asked him for some help. He told me to ask myself why I'm doing what I'm doing, and what I'm looking for or hoping to find. When he told me that, I regretted calling him from the conference room with the glass walls and wished I'd gone for the one with the fogged walls. Both my brothers are good at asking me hard questions and making me think about things I don't want to. He says if I keep watching the rear view mirror, I'm going to miss what's ahead. I think he's right.

the perfect amount of Saturday morning fog

GTS

Gym, tan, stop Silvia if you think you've heard this one before. It was almost like Morrissey was ridiculing me on my way home on Monday night. (Imagine - Morrissey ridiculing someone??) I know I said goodbye to piney times months ago, even years ago! Every time has been a failure. But now it's real, and it's a good feeling.

My heart is probably turning into what the Grinch's looked like in the beginning of the story.

I can handle anyone else who would like to break personal ties with me this spring. What's one more.

Guess what's still awesome?

This song!

Secret Affair, my gold brocade dress, watching David Beckham play soccer up close, and some love from my friends is just what I needed this weekend.

come on, future

I wish I were in the future already, months from now (no, weeks), looking back at this time and laughing at how pathetic I was. Like when Meg and I laugh about falling asleep clutching someone's beer bottle. (ha!) But for now I am in it, really in it. Rodney sent me this song awhile back and I told him I didn't like because it was too sad, but now I can't stop listening to it. I wish someone else would stop listening to it. I wish I could stop caring about what they're doing! I know I don't usually curse, little blog, but fuck.

lykke li on the moon

how do you get tougher?

Early early this morning something so scary happened to my nephew. He was climbing around in the dark and an entire dresser full of clothes fell on him. Some glass pitchers and vases on the dresser fell and broke, too, and the little guy was pinned between his bed and the dresser drawers that rolled out onto him. Thank God he didn't even have a scratch on him, but I was so scared that he was hurt I had a panic attack and thought I might throw up but instead just passed out near the toilet. If I ever have children, someone else is going to have to be with me during emergencies because I will be totally useless. Coincidentally, this dresser accident happened the day after my boss told me in one way or another that he thinks I may be too meek and mild mannered for the cut throat corporate world. But how do you get tougher?