Lent has become much easier, thanks to my wish for sea hags and clam shells being born into fruition on Saturday night, and a random text message yesterday. I think this separation is helping me to see things more clearly - what is really there and what will never be there. It's in my nature to constantly seek out the good in people, sometimes even making excuses for them and giving second, third, fourth chances. I forget all the hurtful words and the crying, oh the crying!
Marisa wondered if he meant it as a joke, but I see now why he thinks I'm "crazy." Such a little thing for him means everything to me, and what's funny to him is cruel to me. What he probably considers "being dramatic" is, to me, the only honest and natural reaction. I see the difference now, the imbalance, better than I could before, but I think it's still happening - the shadow moving over my insides.
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