done and done.

I'll be sad when I can't go to readings at school anymore. Tonight was the Welter reading and I regretted not submitting this year. There weren't enough seats so Pantea shared hers with me because she is motherly and the whole time I smelled something grape flavored, and incense, I think. It was like being in a hippie store sucking on a grape blowpop, but with rose petals strewn across the floor! I didn't know whether to think about being friends with the earth, or twee things like jumping rope and holding hands, or a romantic bedroom surprise in a movie. At the end of the reading someone brought out a huge birthday cake, chocolate with raspberries and strawberries piled on top, can you imagine? I wanted to eat the whole thing myself, but I didn't even know the birthday girl, so I just thought about it after and in the car Steve said You know, it probably wasn't very good anyway.
It hasn't been very long since I finished making the book but I feel like I'm going to have a lot of free time on my hands from here until August. So on my way home from work I stopped at the library and picked up "Special Topics in Calamity Physics," poems by Stephen Dobyns, Sylvia Plath's journals (abridged because the last time I checked out the unabridged, the pages would fall out and I would find them randomly in my bed), and that Audrey Hepburn book of secret treasures and trinkets that they sell at Anthropologie. If anyone else has a good book recommendation, I'm all ears.
I'm hoping the books and sunshine will help because the last few days, or maybe more, I've been feeling resentful of certain people who don't have to work hard for anything and are handed things on a silver platter and are lucky in love and happy, while I am thinking about how much I hate my job as I walk to work in the morning when most people are just waking up, am not lucky in love, and am definitely not happy. It's a little immature I guess. Maybe I just need a new job, or a benefactor.